Looking back at my anticipation for camp, I’m not sure what I expected to learn. I had awesome counselors when I was a camper, and I could only hope to be like them. I hoped to be a positive influence in the lives of campers, but I didn’t expect to be feeding my own heart as much as I
have.

I have spent my first year of college feeding my soul through art, developing my voice as a director and actor. I have felt firm all year in my identity as an artist, and have leaned on that as a core part of who I am. What I love about art is that I can explore myself and my values through it, while also discovering aspects of humans as people. I have spent the year growing in patience and fortitude, and that has done more for me than I ever could have known. But even so, I feel like my spirituality has stagnated.

I go to school in Poughkeepsie, New York, where there is not, as far as I know, an
anabaptist population. I have read my bible and listened to sermons from my church at home, but
I have had a hard time this year embodying my identity as an anabaptist. Coming into this
summer, I think I thought I would learn more about God and be able to validate myself as a
Mennonite and Christian. What I didn’t expect is that I have discovered exactly what I am
missing when I am at school, and that is the community that the Mennonite church provides.

There were times this summer that were especially hard. But I truly think that I was never moved away from experiencing love. I was able to remain grateful even in the harder moments, as I am always called to be here. Difficult moments with campers may have tested my patience,
but never my capacity for gratitude. The hard times tell me that I can lean on my people more. Even when I can handle something on my own, it is enough just to feel embraced and lifted up.

The moments this summer when I have been moved to tears, in the best way possible, were when I felt embraced and loved by Camp Friedenswald as a community member. The times of love that I remember this summer all involve people, and that tells me that I need to have an Anabaptist community for both my heart and my soul to be full. I never expected to learn that, because I thought by choosing my college I had forsaken that possibility. But with the necessary work, I think I can find a community in New York of my own that will embrace me throughout my young adult years.